Why I am a Bird
by Drarry Contributor
Summary: Harry wants to be an Animagus but finds out the only one who can instruct him is Draco Malfoy... who is being very kind and reasonable about it... NOT. Harry can play that game... while he tries to understand what exactly an Indigo Bunting is Drarry


There are a lot of different reasons to be an Animagus.

Becoming an animal can help me sneak into well guarded places and help me escape if I ever get into trouble. If a friend ever puts me up to a blind date it can help me escape the restaurant. If I ever want to know what it feels like looking at the world from a new perspective, and if I want to overhear conversations that may not be meant for my ears are good reasons. If I know the press is outside my door but don't want them to know it's me. If I need to get out for a while it gives me a shape or form to go out in that people won't necessarily recognize.

But most importantly, my parents and my parents' friends were Animagus. I just didn't expect my attempt to become one would be this difficult thanks to me not being smart enough to look up who the head of that particular department is. Staring into the mercury eyes of Draco Malfoy I blew out a light sigh and looked away. "Of course it would be you." I murmured and instantly heard his smug laughter in response to my annoyed comment. Defeating Voldemort could never be enough of course. There always some other shite I need to deal with let alone being a poof. Damn luck.

"Well Harry Potter, it's interesting to see you here. What can I do for you?" He asked in a smooth voice as though he only knew me by reputation, not by being my fucking enemy in school. I frowned and watched his smirk with narrowed eyes. He's playing with me.

"I would like a license for becoming an Animagus, I'm not quite sure how this works but I would like to become one." I felt like vomiting for admitting my lack of knowledge to him, but I was expecting someone _nice_ and _helpful_ to be my instructor/mentor in this. I was not expecting my enemy. Not in the slightest.

"Fancy the famous Harry Potter not knowing some sort of spell or enchantment. Well, this will be fun. First things first then, look into this orb." Draco said with a light smirk and too much eagerness and he pulled a large glass ball from the shelf behind him. It's a soft purple color with smoke within it. Raising an eyebrow at him I refused to look into the ball and simply waited for the blond to explain. For all I know, that ball is going to kill me. He has the connections still to get rid of my body and make sure no one suspects him. Rolling his eyes he placed a hand over his eyes as though I were embarrassing him or something. "Just look into the orb, don't be a fucking idiot. I need to know what your Animagus form will be before I assign you an instructor."

This small bit of hope… made me do exactly as he wanted. I'm not sure whether to be happy or not. Looking into the orb I expected to see a Phoenix or wolf or _something_ cool and interesting. Instead I saw a bird, a little blue bird in a cage in some large dark room. The bird was singing a soft beautiful song and picking at its wings letting me see how broken and frail they are. I blinked in surprise but then the image vanished and instead I was faced with Malfoy's expectant gaze.

"Well? What the hell is your animal?" He asked sounding oh so polite and kind. I just shook my head to clear the bitter images and began playing with my hands.

"It's a blue bird… I think." I informed him nervously. I didn't have to look up to hear the gasp of disbelief and annoyance. That's when he took hold of the orb and gazed into it. Sneering at me he shook his head in disgust.

"It's an Indigo Bunting, dumbass." I didn't bother taking insult and instead waited for him to tell me who my teacher will be. That's when I saw the devilish smirk rise on his features letting me know that this can't be good. "There is only one bird Animagus in my department thanks to the Minister not giving a damn about our department… so that means your instructor has to be me. This is due to the fact that my Animagus form is a swan." I choked then.

Coughing several times in order to avoid the laughter that threatened to consume me I watched his face begin to grow red. "A swan," I repeated in a moment of dead seriousness before laughing loudly. In fact I was beginning to wonder how many floors could hear me by the time Malfoy stood up and scowled at me with a purple face.

"Swans are beautiful and manly creatures! They are graceful and pure and known for their maturity and lovely features! DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY ANIMAGUS!" He shouted and then paused and began to smooth over his hair and clothes. "I am all of those things of course, and perhaps a bit more. So it's only natural that my Animagus would be just as lovely as I am." I wanted to laugh at him again but instead I contained myself to ask a very serious question.

"Are there male swans?" I questioned causing him to pause. The silence in the room was deafening but neither of us broke it. As a full minute passed by I just smiled sympathetically. "I'll look it up tonight, don't worry about it." I said in my most reassuring voice, only to be kicked out of his office with the promise to owl me when our training sessions begin.

Leaving the office I was a bit happy to have someone like Draco Malfoy as my instructor. This will be a lot of fun.

When I got to the empty field that Malfoy had requested I meet him at… I was a little stunned to see him already there. He glanced over at me and frowned when he noticed my clothing but said nothing, and instead motioned for me to come closer but quietly. As I inched nearer I noticed the bird I had seen in the crystal ball only this one looked perfectly healthy as it moved around on the field before us. I smiled at that and watched it move with twitchy movements. "It's cute." I commented lightly, unable to imagine myself becoming _that_. It's simply too pure for someone like me.

"It's natural to grow an immediate liking to the animal of which you will be turning into. The animals we wish to become tend to be representatives of our deepest desires. I would have thought you'd be a lion or something equally as Gryffindor but instead… you're leaning on Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw." It didn't sound like an insult. Instead it seemed as though Draco was musing about this. Almost as though this is what he does with everyone and he's a bit surprised that I'm different than he expected. Perhaps he'll put petty past rivalry aside and do this without the constant insults and rude gestures.

"Male swans do exist. They're called Cob and females are called Pen. But apparently the most common name for a male swan is Eric. I'm not sure if that's true though… the rest sounds like facts." I shrugged with an easy smile but Malfoy was just scowling, refusing to look at me. Then, in a matter of seconds he was a swan. The swan itself is beautiful with soft grey flecks in parts of the wings but for the most part it was that beautiful platinum blond of Draco's hair. I smiled softly at it and admired his beauty before suddenly he was human once more with an arrogant smirk on his face.

"In order to shift you must have a true desire to become the Animagus you would be. It must be a real genuine desire, not because your family has been one, not because it would help you with your Auror training, not because you need something to help you escape your fans. It must be a real genuine desire to be an Indigo Bunting. You must understand why your soul chose that particular bird and why it chose a bird at all. Figure this out that the first step is complete." Draco informed me in a kind voice before seeming to realize what he was doing. Scowling he stormed off to look at a pond I hadn't noticed nearby. He sat on the grass and watched a flock of swans swim along the water with a longing expression on his face.

I ignored him and instead focused on the little blue bird. "I can't sing." I informed it with slightly narrowed eyes. "I may be even twitchier and clumsier than you. I'm not trying to offend you but you are a bit on the fat side, and your eyes are a scary kind of black. I don't know why my soul would pick a bird I wouldn't even be able to recognize without someone pointing you out." I murmured then smiled as the bird jumped onto my hand and looked up at me. When a bit of warmness oozed onto my hand I cried out and flicked the bird away before casting a quick cleaning charm before Malfoy could see it. Thank god he didn't, the boy seems to be transfixed in those swans of his. It's like he'd die if he so much as glanced away.

Looking back at the bird I frowned before getting up. "I'm not going to figure it out today, or at least not by staring at this bird like a fanatic. See you later, Malfoy." I said with a nod even knowing he couldn't see it. Luna may be able to help me figure it out. She's incredible at puzzles. This isn't much of a surprise though since she was in Ravenclaw after all.

"If it's easier, focus on why you chose a bird in the first place." Malfoy called and looked at me with an unreadable look in those soft storm cloud colored eyes. I nodded and the Apparated to Luna's.

"So an Indigo Bunting is your animal? I thought for sure it would be a Northern Hairy-Nosed Wombat…" She murmured and then shrugged softly before turning to Ginny who was sleeping on the couch with a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other. She's been tracking down gnargles since they stole the wedding ring she was going to give Luna. Of course the blond was perfectly happy with the news that she's now engaged but Ginny has a temper and she swore that they wouldn't get married until the curse-word gnargles gave back the curse-word, curse-word, curse-word ring. Oddly enough Luna is still sure that she's getting married to Ginny.

"That sounds insulting, Luna." I informed her with a light smile as she paused and then nodded slowly as though she could see how I could come to that incredibly odd conclusion. I smirked lightly and then looked out the window at the birds that gathered at her bird feeder.

"Have you wondered why you wish to fly?" She asked suddenly making my eyes widen. I didn't think about it like that, but I guess it's obvious since that's what birds do. They fly and soar and go where they please with the wind through their feathers.

"I guess freedom. But why would I want to be free? I already am. I'm away from the Dursleys, I can go where I please, and I can get anything I want just by smiling and showing off my scar. The world is open to me in a way it never was before now. I am free." I said with my voice getting louder with every word. Finally Ginny sat up slowly and glared at me.

"Then no wonder you want to be a fucking bird." She growled and lazily aimed a boils hex at me, I just barely dodged but the tea-cup couldn't. Grimacing at the distorted thing, I watched in amazement as Luna calmly tossed it in the trashcan.

"Be wary, Harry." She smiled at that, as though loving the way her words formed. "There's a reason why birds are put in cages. This may be a little deeper than you had initially intended, but your instructor must be someone you trust otherwise you will never become an Animagus." I frowned at that but nodded.

"Okay so I want freedom, it's what I've always wanted." I stated, ignoring her. "I think it also has something to do with my actual love of flying on a broomstick. And other sticks…" I coughed lightly but she didn't seem to notice as she waited for me to say more. I didn't and so she just smiled and fingered her ring finger on her left hand.

"There may be a reason that you thought it was a blue bird at first. Go home, sleep, and talk with Draco again. I think he's helping you." She smiled innocently and turned around but when I started to leave I felt something hit me. Turning around I saw that Ginny was still sleeping so I just gaped at Luna who maintained her look of innocence. "The boils will go away when you talk to him about what you've discovered today."

I walked into Malfoy's office and frowned. The boils can't be seen unless you're looking at my dick and boils hurt… they really hurt when they're on sensitive areas so that means I'm going to kill her! But… only after I talk to Malfoy. His eyebrows rose at me but when he scanned by body the man just smirked and looked down at the papers on his desk in amusement. "Talk so the boils will go away."

"How the hell did you know I have boils?" I demanded angrily and instinctively began to cup my groin. He just smirked and looked me over, but slower this time until his eyes finally landed on my own. I frowned deeper, becoming aware of how dangerously close its becoming to a pout.

"I've cast that charm several times. I can tell by how you're sitting and how much thicker that little thing looks now. Seems as though someone has a grudge," He smirked but I forced myself to be the better person and ignore it, not just because I don't really have a good comeback.

"Okay so I think my Animagus would be a bird because I want to be free and I have a thing for wind blowing against me." I said quickly and felt the relief already beginning in my manly area where boils should never be. Frowning slightly I looked away. "And I think I know why I'm supposed to shift into an Indigo Bunting." I informed him softly and ran a hand through my hair. He just smirked wider and leaned forward, as though wanting to catch my ever word. "I'm not the blue bird everyone would first assume I am." I said softly and then stood up to leave. Malfoy didn't say a word and so I left, happy for the relief in my dick but also a bit disappointed because of the… fact that nothing happened… nothing changed. He doesn't give a damn.

"I didn't think I would like you." I informed the bird as it brushed its wing against my hand before taking off. I watched it fly as it soared higher and higher into the blue sky. I never once took my eyes off of it until the sun caught in my eyes making me blink roughly.

"When you change into that bird, you're going to retain something of yourself in it. So maybe your green eyes or marks of your glasses or something equally as annoying, but don't worry. No one but the Ministry will know what your Animagus is and it's a prison sentence for us to inform anyone. So why don't you transform." He smirked making me blink in surprise. Isn't there supposed to be a very long lecture, a few books to read, and then finally talk about the theory of it before I go off and try to transform?

"How exactly?" I asked blankly feeling a little stupid if this is supposed to be easy.

"Just point your wand at yourself and then you'll become your animal form. Think very hard about the animal of course and then it's a done deal." Something about his smile was just a tad bit too innocent. Frowning I then closed my eyes and placed the wand against my head. Thinking very hard about Indigo Buntings I then opened my eyes and almost cried in anger and humiliation.

First of all, I'm not an Indigo Bunting. There is a major size difference and… I still look partly human. Second of all, I only look _partly_ human. My face is normal feeling along with my legs but I have bird arms and a fat belly with blue feathers all over it, covering whatever skin I could possibly have. "Apparate me to St. Mungo's." I whispered hoarsely and scowled as he took two or three pictures of me. Obviously this was part of his evil plan.

"I always knew you were an idiot but this is a new form! You are such a dumbass, Potter!" He laughed making me flick him off the best I could with my feather fingers. This only made him laugh harder as he took a picture of that too. Finally the prat took hold of my arm although it was obvious he didn't want to and Apparated with me.

"Five hours, it took FIVE SODDING HOURS MALFOY!" I shouted making him blink at me before opening his mouth then closing it. Finally he just stared at me oddly.

"What does sodding mean?" He asked curiously making me pause before sighing.

"It's Nadsat, a language from a Muggle novel. It's the equivalent of a very bad cuss word." I informed him absently knowing full well it's the F-word but frankly my reputation has already taken a turn for the worst and humiliating today so I won't bother trying to make more of a menace of myself. "The laughter…" I moaned softly and tried to block the images. My skin is still slightly blue but the Healer told me the affects should wear off shortly. I just glared and frowned deeply knowing it's on that dangerously close to a pout level once more.

"I think I've got enough laughs, I can treat you like a real citizen now." Draco smirked at me but I just punched him in the gut and narrowed my eyes at him with a twitching eyebrow.

"How dare you!" I growled knowing that there are people around us, just some mentally ill patients of course thanks to the section of the hospital that deals with special cases like mine, but it's still ridiculous, even if no one will be sane enough to remember this in a few years let alone a few minutes. "I hate how stupid you make me out to be and how ignorant you are! Why the hell am I even dealing with this right now?" I cried and punched a wall hard enough for my knuckles to split. Yes, this is the muggle way of handling anger but I don't give a damn. I'm going to act like a child and throw a tantrum until I remember exactly why I-

Oh.

"Why did it have to be an Indigo Bunting?" I asked softly and then sunk to the floor, holding onto my knees tightly in my hands. In a few seconds a wand was visible and then my cuts were gone, the skin that had broken were healed and the blood is gone. Looking up I saw that Draco doesn't look so smug anymore.

"I needed to get back at you for the rivalry in school." He said it softly as though just now considering that it might not have been a good idea after all. I just snorted and looked away but that's when he shoved me to my feet with a dark look on his face. "You're going to become an Indigo Bunting, even if it kills me." The look of determination on his face… scares the hell out of me.

"You aren't trying hard enough, Harry." Draco sighed but there was the hint of a smirk on his face. I glared at him but said nothing as the affects of my last failure of a transformation. Fifteen different attempts in one day and I'm starting to feel the wear. "Why are you so scared?" He demanded and grabbed a handful of my robes. I blinked hard and then vaguely remembered what Luna had said.

"_There's a reason why birds are put in cages. This may be a little deeper than you had initially intended, but your instructor must be someone you trust otherwise you will never become an Animagus." Luna had informed me in that airy tone of hers._

"I don't think I can do this." I whispered softly and held back the urge to barf as the affects quickly slid out of me like a serpent in the pipes. He gripped the back of my cloak and shoved me backwards onto the ground before looking at my semi-hard erection.

"You like me manhandling you, now I just have to get you to trust me." Draco smirked widely and held out his hand. I glowered at it.

"I trust you as far as I can throw you." I said darkly and held my wand tightly in my grasp, even though I could just as easily destroy him with wandless magic. Our eyes held each other's for a while before finally he put his hand down and sighed with a light but bitter smile.

"You don't look very strong." He murmured and motioned towards my scrawny limbs. I just nodded with a light smirk.

"Exactly," I answered and watched annoyance grow on his features. Finally I got up slowly and then looked around at the Indigo Bunting nearby; the bird was singing a soft yet beautiful song that had hints of loneliness within it. Maybe I am a little lonely, but I'm not going to tell _him_ that. "Stupid birds knowing everything about me when I don't even know it all," I spat softly and then noticed Draco smirking in amusement.

"You're an idiot, Harry. But for some reason I'm wasting my time with you every bloody day." He sighed dramatically and ran a hand through his smooth hair. I rolled my eyes but found myself smirking at his antics.

"Why are you wasting your precious time with someone as common and filthy as me?" I asked feigning dramatics as well. He snickered and soon I was laughing along with him but that's when he paused and turned to me.

"You aren't common or filth. If we become friends then my family standing will be _near_ to where it was before, but of course you're still an ignorant Gryffindor so I may keep my status where it is." He frowned then and looked away. "You know… when you were in the Hospital Wing you always got hoards of presents and too many people to count were always swarming around your bed. I always got a measly little pile and a handful of people checking up on me." He scowled making me smirk idly.

"Yes, but I was never faking it." I added and watched his scowl deepen but I noticed a light flush of embarrassment making me feel slightly better. But this is still something I don't want to hear.

"You were always well liked, no one wanted to abandon you just because you were protecting your family." He said softly but I just smiled bitterly.

"Don't have a family, remember?" I said in a dark tone, making him frown deeply before closing his eyes and nodded slowly as though this pained him more than it should pain me.

"Why are you an Indigo Bunting, Harry?" He asked making me suddenly blink and then nod slowly. I guess I should tell him, because I'm supposed to trust him if I want to become an Animagus like my parents. If that means that I have to tell him something I really don't want to then I will. I guess.

"Because I'm not a blue bird, and I need the freedom I was never able to truly have. I need it more than anyone knows. For the first eleven years of my life I was living in a cupboard under the stairs of my aunt and uncle's house, and was harassed and beat up daily by my cousin. If I wasn't as fast as I am then it would have been a lot worse. I didn't know I could do things other kids can't. All I knew was that I couldn't play on the playground like everyone else because no one wants to play with some rut like me." I said softly and ran a hand through my messy black hair.

"I wanted to be free, and to be able to leave the house and do as I please without the constant weight of chores and not getting food whenever I became too much of a bother. I'm not the blue bird everyone things I am but I am… blue. I know that sounds corny but bare with me. I wasn't the sad depressing kind of blue that everyone imagines for the poor pathetic Harry Potter who grew up not knowing how amazing my parents and even existence is… I didn't know any of that. But no… I was a different kind of blue. I was and am the color of the sky and the color of hope and innocence, and everything that didn't make up my youth. This blue represents who I am and what I am even without the knowledge of the truth or how much freedom I really will have. I just didn't know. But now I do. Tell me again. How the hell do I become an Indigo Bunting?"

He smirked softly then told me.

"You're so fucking graceful, Harry. We should go out dancing after this!" Draco teased from the ground as I did my best to fly. For such a peaceful and beautiful field, the air is full of violent harsh winds. I ignored them the best I could and tried to keep my wings out. I've been able to transform into the bird at will now and the only thing left is to be able to actually fly. If I wasn't stuck listening to Draco's crude jokes than this would probably be a lot easier.

"Wow… look at those sexy scrawny legs of yours!" The boy cooed but did so loud enough to where I just _have_ to hear him. He is such a _dick_! Seriously? How can someone act like that and stand to be seen in public?

Feeling the wing against my feathers I tried to focus on that and shift according to the wind, first time I got it wrong. In fact, I managed to fuck up so terribly that I almost rammed into a tree but quickly I shifted gears and realized in one brilliant moment… that this is better than flying with a broom. "Is it natural to want to fuck you like this?" He asked looking a little breathless and more than a little nervous. I glanced over and then landed on the ground before becoming human once more. I flashed him a confident smirk and then straightened my clothing.

"If it's any consolation… I _never_ wanted to fuck you while you were in your swan form. Too bad you're too big of a poof for me." I teased lightly and watched his face become red with the statement. Rushing forward he gripped my hair tightly in his fists before glaring daggers into my eyes. Kissing me deeply, my eyes bulged but I said nothing and simply allowed the kiss to continue. That's when a question formed in my head.

"Why the hell are you a swan?" I demanded and pulled away knowing that if he gives me the wrong answer then screw him, I'm not going to fuck a ballerina.

"Because I need to be free too… and swans are the most beautiful birds in the world in my opinion." He said quickly letting me see his face paling after I'd been staring too long.

"You are such a…" I hesitated briefly, unable to find an appropriate word, and then I sighed. "Fuck it… I love you." His eyes widened at this but soon we were kissing again so I have no idea what his expression holds now. Taking in a deep breath after we parted for air I tried to contain myself as my emotions swelled up inside me.

"I… don't love you. I really don't. But I'll have sex with you, and I'll make out with you. I won't ask for your money or your fame… but I will ask for your everything." Draco whispered causing my eyes to widen before moving backwards. This is fair… I give him everything that makes me who I am and in return I get a good shag? Taking a deep breath I then looked into his deep mercury eyes and smirked at the idea of those eyes being on a swan. Then I imagined all the arguments we've had and how much fun it is to fuck him over all the time…

"You can have it. Have it all. Draco you can have everything, just stay with me." I said softly and kissed him roughly once more, only to find myself lying on the grass with an annoyed boy on top of me.

"Now admit that my swan form is sexy or I'll kill you." He hissed, holding a wand against my throat. I smirked lightly and said nothing, watching that wild icy flame within his eyes.

"For the love of God, just give it up already." I growled and kissed him roughly once more.

This is going to be fun.


End file.
